Broken Coloured Pencils

My brain speaks, my fingers do the typing.

2012-02-10T01:48:00.003+08:00

Ehem2, I had sore throat today. terrible ones.
Lets start with...
There is a group of friends, who used to be fine.
They're good with each other.
best friend, perhaps.
sometimes they went out for some fun together.
*clear throat*
Sweet, fun, care.

Friend are like cuts. U know, cuts? luka? if you care too much, it hurts. if you ignore, it leaves scars. sometime we have to care about others but sometimes people need to understand us. it happen, it will happen even if you said its not you. i bet you will or already face this situation. where you wanted to decide something which is satisfied by you but at the same it will hurt people around you, especially your good friends.

Look at this Pegasus reminds me of freedom.

i don't wanna say much about this. lesson from my experience is, let it go people. do not take things too serious. face it. if your friend decide something, whether you like it or not, let them be. its their life and not yours. alright? what you have to do is advice. and whether they ignore or not, let them be. well, we are human (typical words from me). we live like human. sometimes we satisfied, sometimes we don't.

And one more thing, we human, we travel.

lets consider life as a journey. we travel don't we?

so, we will always face new things, face new people, new crowd, new rules, new way.

whatever new it is,

it depends on you

and don't let people around you

underestimate you ability.

To my good friends here in Merbok who read this post, i wanna tell you guys, i miss us to get along like we used to be. although u know, last time i did not involve myself with you guys a lot. but i appreciated every moment we had. I feel awkward when things turned out this way.

One more, remember,

don't talk bad about others or others will find yours too.

I need to remember that too.

i admit that i need to remember that too seriously.

Lets forgive each other....

shall we?

Love, Hope. <3

If this's the only way to keep you here.Then, it's not enough.

2012-01-11T23:52:00.000+08:00

I told mummy about what had happened for this few days. It's my shoulder. My shoulder keep aching and it gives me boundary on task that i need to be done by the end of this month. I don't know whether this is normal or me, myself is lack of rest or whatsoever. I know its worsen when i couldn't feel my left shoulder and left side of my neck when the pain started to begin. i feel numb. it just hurt so bad. hurting me, badly. its started since i was in secondary, i never know its gonna turn out this bad. haihh.

Mum told me to get my check ups at unit kesihatan. and i will, soon. Maybe tomorrow because i think, i'm suppose to go to the hospital. It's getting worse now. I had sleepless nights and and and unconscious caution days.

SUKOL, I didn't manage to attend. I have better things to do, mungkin. Haha. Well, maybe next time. I wish I was there actually. Nothing much to tell today.

Just wanna say,

kalau saye masuk hospital, datang visit ramai2 ye! :D

*which is, impossible to happen* =.=

Love, Hope.

Thankful, Happiness, Money, Love.

2012-01-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

I just finished three assignments in a week and it's exhausting. Yes, IT IS. Seriously, there is more coming. Around 4 more i guess. and this time I've to prepare earlier. It is more to presentation and lately, I always stumble when I'm trying to explain something in front of the audiences. Why? why???!! =.=

My class is practicing and preparing for the drama which gonna be our presentation for group assignments. I hope god is always here to hear and give Hiss bless in what we were doing now. I hope our presentation gonna turn out fun and, OK. At least, right?

Okay, weird things that happened to me is, I've been too hardworking now, although I know that I need rest. yes, I really am. I'm tired. I don't really feel healthy like I used to be last time. Well, what is the meaning of success if all you have if sick body?? I want a balance in life. healthy, happiness came from there. Hm, just saying. Somehow it is not gonna change after all. I'm a student. well, student meant to be put in a stress situation. When in the end we just cry because we finally got 'SUCCESS'. Will you cry because you're happy or you are free from stress? I don't really wanna ask this actually. it's spontaneous. -.-

MY BELOVED YOUNGEST SISTER <3

PRETEND TO STUDY WHEN ALL I DO IS LISTENING

TO PANIC AT THE DISCO! :D

BELOVED CLASSMATES WHO MADE MY DAYS.

FROM RAIN TO SUNSHINE. <3

Syazwan, Aideed, Mustaqim, Amirul izzat, Ammaru

Me, Syasya, Syadora, Aisyah

Fatin Shahirah, Ayuni Shima

FIRST STITCHING. QUITE MESSY

BUT I DID THIS WITH ALL MY HEART. :)

Just wanna share. Taken with webcam.
I miss my family. I miss my future husband..

Love, Hope.

Good life with a broken heart.

2011-12-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

It's the day when i suppose to feel awake for the whole day but it turn out became the day i felt very weak. Bloodless day. I lost my strength. Living this good life i have with a broken heart. After my morning prayer, I slept back. This procrastination is contagious. I still don't feel awake when I woke up for class. I felt empty.

Syasya knocked my room door, waiting to walk to class together. But instead of walking with her, i decide to walk alone. I'm all alone until the class started. First honest smile I gave is to no one after looking at peace sight i caught with these eyes. What I can think of is myself. I'm tired with classes, with assignment. I need something new. Gimme job, gimme responsibility. I'm tired of being a normal student who works for herself just to find success in life. Wait, I don't call it success. I call it sustenance.

Class is settle, then I walk back to my room. There is nobody. The room is empty. Roommates were busy fighting for knowledge when I've already found wisdom. Entering the room and I feel the silence, silence where i can hear my own breath and the sound of the spinning ceiling fan. Lying down on the floor. Thinking.

I'm tired. I really am. I've found hope. But why, it's different this time?

I don't have you..

Love, Hope.

Same Mistake By James Blunt

2011-11-12T06:34:00.001+08:00

To Muhammad Izzat Bin Bakar,

Everybody deserve their own life to live.

So do you and me. <3

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.
And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.
Look at the stars fall down.
And wonder where did I go wrong.

Love, Hope.

Untuk bakal suami yang dirindui.

2011-09-24T16:18:00.001+08:00

Today is the day when I've been through hard times. Thinking through a lot of things that had happened in my whole life. I've learn from mistakes. Past time nightmare. I really wish I could even make myself a good wife to you when we met. I don't know why, but I've been thinking of you lately. I don't know who you are. I don't know where you came from either, but i admit that today in Zuhr prayer, when I knees down, prostrating towards Allah, I missed you.

You knocked the door of my heart even before we know each other. I know that you always wanted a good wife. Knowing me that always being good on everything I do.

And know what, when I saw a little boy or a girl passed in front of me, it reminds me of you. I really wish that you've been here around me. The ones that would never disappointing people around you especially me. Remember, you were never left behind in my prayers. All i wanna know is you the one who's gonna guide me to the place I've been adored for we to live together endlessly.

So much more I wanna tell you which I couldn't state here.

Find me, is what I'm hoping from you.
I'm sorry if what I did before I met you, leaves you hard feelings,
I'm sorry if I leave you first before we can be together in this world.
But what I can promise you today, is the best of me.

Love, Hope. <3

Kau beri rasa yang berbeda, mungkin ku salah.

2011-08-04T16:47:00.008+08:00

Another confusing thought came in mind.

I wonder why is it rather being alive than flew away.

In burnt intuition, I felt.

You are never far enough.

Closure is what I need.
The desire of overcome memories saved from bleached away.
Soon as I ran far enough, u will realize.
No worries are gone. But.
The only thing left is,
You, living in pleasure
With your immature decision.

Love, Hope.

P.S: I Love You.

Desperate?? No.

2011-07-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of you everyday. I admit that I'm addicted to you. Habit of viewing your FB page everyday even tho theres no update at all. i don't mind, as long i can 'see' you. before i go to bed, study, night class. hm. I wish we would bumps while i'm on my way to anywhere around this campus. Talk to you like before. Say hello. And watching you smile at me. I'm craving everything about you, boy. Damn.

I miss you. :(

Love, Hope.

That's why we stay the same. :)

2011-06-28T13:09:00.001+08:00

This is izzat bin bakar.

I've been spending my childhood with him.

No one could tell how cute he was when he's in standart 4.

Budak bijak pandai in Math subject. :)

(He already done his Math homework while im still finishing mine, crying.)

Quite some time, we lost our contact since we've stop tuition at this aunty's house, but years later, yeah, There is izzat, the PENANG FREE SCHOOL'S FOOTBALLER. :)

I can say he's my best mate I've ever met and had.

Okay, yeah, I'm trying to be sweet here, alright.

I miss you. really do. hey, balik lah penang.

Nak cekik you lagiii. To izzat, you take care alright.

Hugs and kisses.

Love, Hope.

Send me away with the words of the love song.

2011-06-08T14:47:00.001+08:00

Entry;

piece of "If I die young" by The Band Perry.

I'm here, where I should be.

Away from where I belong.

I need guide.

I need to find a best friend, perhaps.

Someone who I can have fun with, talk to, trust, make conclusion and advice.

Still searching for who can accept me,

The one who people used to call, arrogant. Sigh.

*despondency*

Facebook, I NEED YOU.

get me?? i need you.

*eating bread with chocolate spread and enjoying it*

Love, Hope.

I quit.

2011-06-06T18:22:00.000+08:00

Apa lah yang dina fikir sebelum ni. sighh..

Yeah, I'm quitting.

Find me, if you want this to go on.

cherio~

Love, Hope.

If you're trying to break my heart, it's working.

2011-06-02T22:21:00.001+08:00

Rase down gile lah. Dengan internet atau network connection kat pc niaga tu pulak ade masalah balik. Connection yang digunakan sekarang teramatlah lembab. haih, justin, i need help. mcm selalu, kalau serabut je, akan bukak lagu 'U Smile' hehh. Relieve kutt. tak tipu.

Sekarang betul betul buntu. kalau zaman sekolah dulu, akan cari notes or buku untuk di telaah. tapi sekarang, rase kurang bijak sbb tak bawak siap siap dua atau tiga buku buku ilmiah. terase bosan. serang, bace novel pulak rase macam mengantuk. tadi dh try, bace dalam 200 page, dan........... menguap. back to my laptop and,
google chrome, here i come. (:

buat mase sekarang, terase macam nak pegi jalan ke DM ataupun cafe

dan cari nasi untuk dimakan.

tapi dah lewat.

segan nak jalan sorang sorang pulak bila dah malam.

esok ajelah cari makan. ikat perut je lah malam ni.

ehkkkkk lapawww. +.+

Plan untuk minggu depan:

Monday: kelas kelas and hantar borang borang yang sepatutnya di hantarrr.

Tuesday: Order coffee ais dan menikmati sorang sorang. kelas lagi. dannnn, kelas.

Wednesday: kelas dannnn keluar pergi town.

Thursday: after class, might be I'm going back to Penang jenguk itik dan kambing.

Friday: Rase macam ada coco je?

Saturday: Rase macam ade activity.

Sunday: class like usual. haih, tolong lah jangan cancel.

P/s: salah seorang lecturer saye adalah abang kawan saye. haha. Kecilnya dunia. :)

Greattt........~

2011-06-02T18:22:00.000+08:00

Okay. dengar, tak clear, yeah yeahhh, dgar.. oh tidak! ape tah tadi??

ha, tu la keadaan aku bile ade orang yang buat announcement kat kolej dan telinga ni di sumbat dengan earphone yang tak kurang kecil ni. rase sayup2 apahal bunyi kuat kat luar. dua tiga perkataan, tujuh enam perkataan baru aku akan bukak earphone dan yang hanya sempat dengar adalah; AYAT YANG HUJUNG HUJUNG TUUU.

lepas tanye tanya kawan sebilik, informasi tu sampai lah jugak dalam kotak memori ni. M.mesra kolej tu dah ditunda. kan bagus kalau aku buat keputusan untuk pulang ke pulau pinang, hahahahahahh......... Too late.
adoii. baru tengah exited. -.-'

dengar pulak, budak kolej mahsuri kne pakai baju warna ape?? yea! pink atau merah? eaa? ohh, tidakk. bukan tak suka. tapi, tak adee. ):
mane lah aku nak g korek lagi baju.

sekarang, otak rasa tenang lepas jumpe bandar sungai petani. lepas sattle kan urusan bank, mudah la lpas ni nak jalankan pemindahan wang. orang business lah katakan. haha. (tak ade makna nya punn)
lepas ni memang buntu, tak ade ape ape nak buat. jadi, buku dan milo lah jadi teman aku malam niehh..

jage diri ye korang.

love, Hope. (:

Speed Chase! xD

2011-06-01T13:56:00.000+08:00

Damnnnnnnnnn! Situasi ni macam bodoh kut. Rase perasan, rase nak tercari-cari. Tak suke lah terase macam ni. Mungkin hanya perasaan semata mata. Rasa nak spent time sorang sorang dekat padang. Mungkin mencari ketenangan. sighh. seronok, suka, happy, tapi dalam masa yang sama, gelisah, tak tenteram lansung. hahah. sakit jiwa tah aku ni. balik penang kena buat appointment dengan psychiatrist ni.

Where are you when i needed you the most. yeah, tak pernah menafikan yang memang dengan senyum sahaja, dh boleh buat jantung ni, cam nak terbang. haha. nasib baik badan ni berat. it's a long time since the last time I felt this way. get through my days thinking of someone that i never knew before. hoping for something that i knew for sure i can never reach for. vision that is very blur even a president can never tell me what to do. or even hatshepsut can never ever ever find the answer for this question. Dei, semua sama je lahh. conclusion, susah lah nak jawab soalan ni. tuan punya badan pun tak reti nk jawab. siapa lah memandai cipta soalan yang complicated ni.

"Kenapa wujud perkataan obsession?

Kan sekarang saya dah terikut-ikut dengan makna perkataan tu.'' -.-''

Love, Hope.

Arghhh.. :O

2011-05-31T11:20:00.000+08:00

tadi pagi terjaga pukul 9. TERJAGA ye. tak ade niat nak bangun pun. tapi bila bukak mate, " whoops, siapa bukak lampu niehhh?? " adoi.. potong btul lah nak tidur pun terbantut.

ni nak cite kat korang, 3 hari lpas, kunci saye termasuk lah dalam lobang jamban. ingat dh tak wujud dah. sedih. sedekah selamat je lah. pastu, tgk2 semalam, kunci tu masih terendam dalam air spa yang tak semua orang boleh rase dalam hidup. terpikio la pulakkkkk... pening! mcm mana nk pi ambil. dalam lobang tu pun sebatu.
lepas memerah otak dekat dua tiga jam dalam toilet dan bilik, ilham tu datang dengan tiba2.

-BATANG PENYAPU ADALAH MANGSA SETERUSNYA-

wahahahah! :DDDD

aku tak perlu cite lah kann macam mana aku ambil pe sume. bukan dapat markah punn. tapi, yang aku nak gathu. tak tahu kenape, rasa sayang sangat kat kunci tu, sampai dh kotor pun boleh dianggap suci lagi. kunci tu boleh guna lagi tapi, berkarat.. yang pastinya, se-tong sabun hanya untuk mencuci BERSIH se-bunch kunci.

sudah pukul 11.15, gtg to class. cherio~

love, Hope.

Welcome back, DIENA HANIE.

2011-05-30T14:53:00.000+08:00

Sudah lama agaknyee kot. SPM pun dah berakhir. zaman hirup udara pagi pun dh semakin pupus. Hidup yang berdepan dengan baju pun dah berakhir. Sekarang, zaman buku SEMULA. The Book Returns. (the mummy returns)

Mase lapas spm tu, sempat laaa kerja untuk sementara waktu memandangkan keputusan pun FLYY :). Factory Outlet Store, Gurney, Penang adalah sejarah yang tak akan pernah pudar, mungkin. Dari situ jugak dina belajar nak cari kawan especially, with those who were older than me. kawan dengan orang yang sudah besar ni, ade gunanye jugak. bukan tak boleh have fun. tapi, otak diorang bagi kita berfikiran lebih jauh dan lebih berwawasan. bukan setakat TIN KOSONG.

Planning nak kerja sampai lah bulan 7 ataupun lepas raya. tapi macam mane tah, kerajaan punya rumors dah lut buat dina. kemasukan UiTM intake pertama menyebelahi nasib, dengan kata lain, rezeki dina. tapi, kejadian tu dah larikan urusan hidup yang telah diatur. mcm orng cakap. we humans, we just planning what we're gonna do. but god decides it all. kan? hehh. 21 MAY 2011 dah menjadi sejarah dalam hidup. Cita-cita nak masuk universiti dh tercapai. sekarang, cita cita nak menonjolkan kemampuan dina pulak lah. iaitu..................... tah. -.-''

Selamat datang ke UiTM Merbok.

Tahniah kepada adik adik.

Selamat datang Siswa dan Siswi.

Siswi, Pantas Sisiwi.

Selamat datang kepada waris.

Selamat datang Ke Kolej Mahsuri.

ape ape tah lagi. sangat professional.

i like.

Good Luck to those who are going and memang sedang lanjutkan pelajaran.

munkin kolej, university, atau form sixes,

saye nak ucapkan sekali lagi, selamat belajar sungguh-sungguh ye.

Love, Hope.

Cracker :/

2010-10-20T02:02:00.002+08:00

In love?
Oh, no wayy.
Love sick, maybe.
D;

Through the morning, through the night. :)

2010-10-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

Finally, it's over. I decided to believe my intuition. at least i know you're still here and there's still you, who i can cry on. As i remember, I've thought bout this before. The time when you and I decided to stay distance and lose our tangle by giving both of us some time on our own. This is hard, this is difficult to get through though. But when I looked back on how we live now, I guess this is something good that we have to believe on.

No matter how happy u are, life is hard. To be good, to success, to fix thngs, to build up, to find hope, to lose, to keep on trust, faith. Anyhow, life is hard. I tried, I tried to make things simple as it can be but anyhow, when it comes to decision, the only thing come across my mind is, thoughtless.

In immature way, I can say that you are my strength. Even though sometimes I met someone who cover my sight from you but the only person who in the end let my heart beats for is you, still you. you, you you and again, you. even now, it's for you. sigh. There is so many things I've been keeping to myself. There is so much memories I remember even some I forget. I always expected more from you without knowing that I'm giving less. Being a tempered even though I know I shouldn't. I know I did wrong too much. I know I've been quiet for too long because I don't wanna waste our time together when all the time I get to spend with you were never enough. 'cause i knew this time would come someday, somehow. I wish there is the button rewind so i could live in my past which I've been left behind without wasting every second of it and without such pointless vision. Wish could please you along together by my side to live again in my past. I would never ever want to let go off you until we reach here when the time I have to let you go for the best of us.

Too much I wanna let you know but less I know how to express. haihh. I wish you could hear my heart and knew how much I wanna tell you that I love you, how much I wanna tell you that I need you in my life. How much you meant to me and how much I wish you would come back for us. I'll wait..

I'll stand in front of my door. I'll wait for your return, saying you're mine once again..

Love, hope.

Let it be tomorrow, please..

2010-10-18T18:51:00.000+08:00

............................

tak, i mean

rabu?

hm..

ya allah ya tuhanku

kau kuat lah hati aku ni

*tears!

...........................

itu adalah apa yang sempat dia cakap.

d harap, ini bawak kepada kebaikan.

terima kasih, for everything.

selamat, sama sama berjaya, insyaallah.

god bless.

Cube try bace ini.

2010-10-18T16:23:00.003+08:00

http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=568

Syntax errorrr.

2010-10-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

Ade beberapa orang complain, saye dah lama tak update blog. Efan, yes, saye tahu. Haha. jadi, I take this opportunity lah untuk cerita sikit pasal d sekarang. Ibu singgah rumah few days ago and today I realize that how I miss her living in this house like before. Sabtu dan ahad d sejak kebelakangan ni, hambar. Ada jugak hari hari lapas d buat salah yang sudah terkantoi. guess that is something that i should not mention about for now. what i can tell you all is, it's about me kantoi lepas pergi study dekat library, USM.

Semalam d punggah baju dekat dalam bilik. then terjumpe baju kalawar ibu yang lama ibu dah tak pakai. and fyi, d suke pakai baju kelawar sebab rase free je. ahah. okay, back to the story. I texted mom, tell her about the baju. I asked her whether I can wear it for that night. and mom replied, "boleh, ibu lagi suka".:)

So, semalam, d pakai dengan rasa senang hati. i wish mom would be glad seeing me wearing her baju kelawar.

Ibu, I love you.

D plan nak jogging semalam. but end up, d tak pergi pun sebab tak jadi. sebab malas nak ajak siape2 pergi kut. memandangkan izzat kesayangan pun sakit kaki, tak nak lah ajak. kang jadi lagi teruk. biar die rest senyap2 kat rumah. heh. maybe next weekend will do. ajak ramai ramai lah kut sebab dah bosan selalu lari sorang sorang dekat kawasan macalister ni.. siape2 nak pergi, wall lah kat facebook eh?

now, i wanna talk about exam. d baru lapas habis trial and the only subjct that i get a is information communication and technology, science and pendidikan agama. d target for 6a's and where am i suppose to kutip anothor 3?? BM, BI, sejarah, ekonomi asas and perdagangan punya result d tak dapat lagi. tapi, tak tahu lahh.. mungkin teruk, mungkin tidak. im hoping for a good improvement. i've put such effort and i hope for a better result than what i expected. sebab, SPM dah tak jauh. dah boleh rase gemuruh pun. and sometimes, perasaan tu jugak lah yang kasik d tak boleh nak study betul betul. sbb terlalu takut. lagi lagi untuk perdagangan. sighh. insyaallah, semua berjalan dengan lancar.

Rancangan hadapan.

nak pergi sekolah hari hari. buat latihan banyak banyak.

weekends- nak g jogging dekat bukit dambar or youth park.

sehari dari tujuh hari seminggu, nak keluar tengah malam for fresh airr. (:

Love, Hope.

PERFECTLY ridiculous

2010-10-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

Hey, i really don't understand you. seriously. sighh.

I thought it would be nice to hear from you but it turned to be something that.. pissing me off.

do i really know who you are?

you told me that you'll always be right here, where i'm standing.

somehow, i think you're pretending.

have u ever dumped your head into a toilet bowl?

or or peel your skiin off you bone??

or or slapped you face whenever you feel bored?

bangs you head on the wall?

cause i thnk, you should.

love, hope.

2010-06-18T01:32:00.000+08:00

i love him. <3

-yours-

kata amelia, satu batang banyak lubang. :O (itu poligami)

2010-02-23T20:25:00.001+08:00

sekolah tday cam pe jeww.. start this week gyle ngantuk mase dalam kelas. truk2.
sukan is coming. and izzat's coming. represent his school in olahraga.
woohoo! good luck, koko! :P
haha.. happy gyle today.. buli izzat je keja. lol.
start from today, ramai orang asyik busy untuk sportsday nnt.
hope semua okay saje. kawat doww! pergghh.. -.-"
to orang2 yang akan bawak sepanduk, yg pakai chun2 tuw,
selamat meng-ayukan diri. xD
tak sabar gyle.. tapi, malas gyle sebab sekarang musin panass.. huhu..

birthday abang is coming. 1st of March, people!! woohoo! tak sabaq. *doinks!*

saye pulak, semakin happy, semakin okay dan semakin baik dalam pemikiran. :)

selamat maju jaya kepada semua yang nak amik exam nnt.

<3 yours. :)

If i was to say that i love you, what would you say?

2010-02-17T13:36:00.002+08:00

last week punye plan tak jadi

sebab sakit pada hari selasa, rabu, khamis dan jumaat.

yeap! pening kepala yang memanjang.

today, d dengan cheng g cc untuk sattlekan sume keje .

folio2 dan macam2 lagii. heh.

bukak sekolah, saye akan berdepan dengan test dan 2 minggu lagi berdepan dengan exam..

beberapa bulan akan datang, SPM.

cuti dh nk habis. so d ucap awal2, selamat kembali ke sekolah! :)

*memandangkan d tinggal dalam sekolah*

tak sabar nk abis ~~SPM~~!!!! arrrgghhhh!! LOL.

-.-"

erm, takde ape pun d nk tulis for now. sebab masa tak mengizinkan. kat cc la katakan. otak tak berjalan sbb dengar bunyi tembak-tembak (game perang pebende tah) kat pc pc yang berada di sekeliling. menyampah! k lah! kejap lagi akan ke GTC untuk pembelajaran. arrh! wish me luck for the science test japg. tace care people! enjoy y'all nyew cuti selama 4 hari akan datang ni. :0

lastly,
d nk wish happy advance birthday to
HUNNY, kakak saye.
SHAMIRAH my bestfriend.
and masih bestfriend. and masih masih masih bestfriend.
hey awak, winduuu. ;)

Love, dD. <3

ICED

2010-02-08T00:34:00.001+08:00

Last week:
i'm being a lazy bumps (asyik skips school jew. bukan sengaja tapi, tak bangun!)
skipped school for three days and i don't know how to tell or write the absentees letters and i wish i could state there, "please excuse me for school because i really do hate school"
Add math was and always will make me say the word crappp?? and yeah, I'm wayy too far behind to catch up all those add math syllabus in form 4 and now, chapter 2.
I've to read and memorize all chapters for perdagangan, f4 by march.
i fell in love with a guy but i fink it's impossible for him to get into me.
texted with someone else for two days and he disappeared.
feeling guilty for three days and decided to give up.
missing someone to death sampai i felt like i lost everything.
i lost a best friend and i felt like nothing is impossible as in bad things can happen anytime they feel free to visit you.
new plan for new schooling mission-lepas tuition, makan kat kedai and terus balik so that i CAN sleep EARLY for tomorrows school.
found new code- p.s: i is less than 3y
went for a jog at botanical garden, penang.
went to gurney(popular), alone, for science process skill but too bad, still, out of stock. >.<
i am sad and i went home by car which is yellow in color.

This week:
this week is just started 12 mins ago.
i dont have anything YET to tell about thiss week.
i am still thinking what im suppose to type now.
i fink im out of idea.
err, i heard the pc in front of me, playing and managing his farm ville on facebook
i heard the sound of goat, duck and pigg???
ijat texted me and ask, how do i go back later. -worry much-
still, i am sad because someone has disappeared.
finking how to not to, let him go.
now, the sentence of "how to face her when i stab her back without any motive or any concrete reason?
i feel like saying fuckk!!!!!!!!!!
i am too cold- im gonna end this.

Coming activities:
idk yet. :P

but most probably,
Monday- school, econ's tuition.
Tuesday- school, staying back for some homewoking,lari padang/pusing macalister.
Wednesday- school, math and science's tuition, makan tidoq.
Thursday- school, school, school... perdagangan's tuition.
Friday- school, taman belia. :) siapa-siapa nak join? sebab saye sorang jee.. pape tinggal massage aite?
Saturday- duckking's cafe for some important stuff.
Sunday- Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.s: and not to forget, homeworkksss.. arhhhh.. >.<

HAPPY COMING CHINESE NEW YEAR! ;)

I Like You, ps. :)

new life without heart.

2010-01-26T14:07:00.000+08:00

harini, hari bersejarah. i hope someday, me, myself would realise how lucky am i to be born and live on today. i must and i have to decide which path i should get through. which side should i follow. whether love or life. to be honest with myself, i need you but as someone who really care bout myself, i need to let you go. d takut nk gtahu awak sebab tak sampai hati. itu maksudnye, d masih mengharapp.. tapi, bukan awak yang ni.. awak yang d nakk.. dh la. malas nk cakap panjang. saye nk offline sudaa.. adios! siggh.

masih berkeputusan atas harapan diri sendiri. sekian, terima kasih.....

heartless for three days.

2010-01-24T15:10:00.000+08:00

i didn't mean to let you down. i didn't mean to hurt your feelings but seems you don't even understand me. you didn't even give me a chance for me to be me, to be who i am. i don't need touch. i just need attention. i need your love. someone who cares about me. why cant you stop asking me what i suppose to be or do because i don't even need all that. i'm not saying that i am choosy or what. picky?? but hey, why cant you be someone who really care not controlling. i don't mind and i don't even care if someone nags beside my ear. but please, you re doing too much. i know you're trying to be the best. you're trying to show that

'hey, i am the man, i don't care what people say or talk about me'

but hello, i need that.i need someone who care. standard is yeah, not important but i need you to take care of yourself before you take care of someone else. i mean how people around look at you. yes, i do care but whatever, this is me. i am sorry yes i do.

you taught me to be selfish FOR MY OWN GOOD? but seems i don't even found that everything you ask me to do brought any benefit. it's just few of em that i should. i am rational. i am sorry for being Hippocrates but honestly, i love you too much. i don't wanna hurt you.. thinking bout all this makes me wanna cry myself out.

i hate the part that i need to decide. to tell the truth or to let you go. i do appreciate of what you tryin to do. trying to tell me. trying to be the best or do the best for me but i don't feel that is enough. its because you're too concern about everything. rumors that i heard about you involving another girl makes no sense but sometimes i need to concern too. i not saying that i dont have faith but im tired of being a liar just because i dont wanna hurt you. i want you to be happy. im smiling when you scold me bout something that ridiculous or something that normal. things that normsl pple do. things that you dont even have to scold. because i dont want you to be in anger. i want you to be happy. look at me and hello, be happy but you dont. you cant stop for blaming this and that. i respect you for being responsible as you're suppose to be. but i need my space too.

i admit that i really do miss you when you're not around. when you're tens with routines or whn the time you need your own time to rest, get busy or whatsoever. honestly, i am glad that I found you. person that i fell in love from the first time i saw you when i was 10 and now Ive got the chance to tell you how much i like, i love and i care about you. but seems now you are someone that hard for me to control or be with, to handle.. so i decided to let you go?? but wait, how i am suppose to tell you when you didn't even do anything wrong or hurt me or make me cry. its just because of me. of what i felt about you. i cant stand that and when i cant even say anything when you keep sayin this and that. how hard Ive to be 'tak-fragile'. its hard tho.

fuck, i need you. i hate that i love you too much that i cant even say no even when i have to.....

sighhh.........
love, dD.

Peek a butt ?

2009-12-19T06:04:00.006+08:00

i drank coffee and it makes me feels like kene insomnia lak. i cant sleep. tried to sleep on the couch but still, i CAN'T sleep. few days back before yesterday, makngah balik Malaysia for holidays. macam-macam karenah. yang peliknye, anak-anak makngah suke kejar cicak. doinks! they went to kuala lumpur and gonna fly back to Omaha on this coming 27th December 2009. her family's visits here adalah sangat kitorang gembira sebab nak jumpe pun berapa tahun sekali. huhu. sedeyh tul. hope dapat jumpe lagi beberapa tahun akan datang. :)

Hodoh tak? Hee..

schools re-opening soon. 2 minggu lebih je lagi. whahahahah! dadaku membuak-buak! hee. sedikit gemuruh, sedikit gembira sebab lame gyle tak jumpe rakan-rakan yang disayangi sepanjang bersekolah kat situ. jiwang lak. first thing d cari bila sampai skolah is, cheng! cheng!. then, tman g toilet jap. haha. for now d pulak makin bengong nak decide macam-macam untuk next year. subject lah, position lah, class lah, tugas lah, responsibility lah. ahh, macam macam. jagelah jnior-jnior ku yang tersayang. saye bukan saye apabila masa itu emas. tapi, fikir fikir balik, bukan busy pun. tapi cuba nak mem-busy kan diri sendiri so that susah orang nk menganbil kesempatan atas kelenggangan mase d yang ade. sebab sangat sangat harap, next year akan smooth je. and yang seronok, takde snior yang nak buli saye lagii. ;)
sape yang nk shopping barang skolah same-same tu gtahu la yekk. ley lepak same same. rindu korang doww.
hehh. and owh, mungkin theme untuk next year masih pink dan putih. hehh. btw, whoever yang satu class ngan d yang ade idea untuk kelas, harap korang gtahu siap2 so that ley prepare trus mase bkak skolah nanti. takde laaa busy sangat.

sekarang boleh dengar bunyi moto kat luar, azan subuh, bunyi jam, peti ais, and abang punye nafas (kuat la gak) yang menunjukkan, "lena nyeee abang tidur. tapi nape saye tak ley tidur.. :(" hehh.
21st nnt ade reunion Residency Girls School Batch 2008. but i don't know whether i can make it or no seems d tak ley g mane mane selain dalam rumah. -.-"
really hope mum will allow me to 'cause there's gonna be lots and lots and lots of friends which some i didn't talk to anymore akan gather kat Gurney and akan terkejut terkejut and some will be exited which i know i wouldn't. tapi, d cume akan rase owh, hey, dh besar dh korang yekk. hahha. :P

Coffeee, nyum nyumm. +.+
esk singgah teh tarik lah. hmmm..

so, plan untuk minggu ini:

Tomorrow-trim rambut a.k.a repair rambut kat kimage, singgah popular for some books, singgah gurney for nail polisher.

Sunday-g kedah for kenduri kahwin
Monday-reunion SKJR batch 2006
Tuesday-free. sape sape nk ajak g date?
Wednesday-Youth park. 8a.m to 2p.m. nk join?
hari hari berikut masih kosong. heee.

i'm boredd.. mungkin ingin meninjau sedikit pasal dslr. and larii masuk bilik tidur before dad wke up for work. uih, wait. tmrrow is saturday! ayah tman g kimage. woohoo!

Good morning Malaysia! :)
asal kene warna biru??? hmm, nvm.

white is not what i wanted.

2009-12-19T04:56:00.005+08:00

Despair to the last word you had enlighten

To the tip that had toast

Other confession effected lust

Way that leads to her which means nothing in the end

The way you found hopes when the time you saw, you are the past

The moment you called death is half way to be in someone’s shoes

A step to be call daddy but side of you is a blink of a lady

One wink by the time you say u do, wondering why it has to be you

Maybe it sounds familiar to the world surround

Nevertheless, the words that I had enlightened are the gone that will never lose.

Forever laid as words to the loner who is still finding for you.

i am, still finding for you.

love, dD

For you.. yes, You.

2009-12-04T03:37:00.003+08:00

She's gone by Brutha.

act, kurang bermakna.. but. haiihh.. idk wht im finkin right now. im just toooooooo... erm, depress.
the fuck? errgghhhh!! sial laaa.. >.<

;(

masa yang menentukan.

2009-11-29T23:21:00.001+08:00

sekarang bagi pandangan d, ramai yang makin sedar. yang mane baik, yang mane buruk.
tapi, masih tak praktik kan. cume tahu mendengar dan menerima. tu lah salah kita. ambil nasihat buat pedoman tapi, nk apply nye, lambat sangat. ape guna ada otak.

ini adalah termasuk diri d sendiri. kadang kadang rase bersalah bila buat sesuatu tak ikut plan and semua benda tak menjadi. tapi entah cara nak hidup ikut statement baik yang telah dikeluarkan, susah. cuma sesetengah saje yang boleh diikut.

fikir fikir balik, mungkin ini memang mainan hidup kat muka bumi ni. pernah terfikir tak? kenapa ada semua ni, kalau kelekaan adalah sesuatu yang tak patut kita ikut. tapi kenapa kita masih tak berubah walaupun tahu apa yang kita buat tu melekakan. and why does everyone fighting to be the best eventho they can be the best dripada the best without fighting with each other. malah baik dimata tuhan.

manusia ni gopoh. kadang-kadang ape yang kita nak buat mmg harapnya akan membawa kebajikan atau kebaikan kat orang. tapi dalam masa yang sama, akhirat tak memerlukan tu. tetapi tu semua hanyalah sampinagn. solatnya, ibadatnya.. masih tidak sempurna.

memang susah nak berubah. sebab dah sebati dalam darah, tidak beriman. mungkin diri sendiri perlukan paksaan sebelum nak meng inisiatifkan diri sendiri.
bukan nak cakap. cuma nak luahkan ape yang d rase tentang diri sendiri dan orang lain serata duniaa.. mmg susah. nak cakap sal hidup, sampai mati pun tak habis. kan?

so, masing masing akan ada cara hidup sendiri untuk kebaikan sendiri. ataupun kepentingan sendiri. jadi, masing-masing sangat perlu beringat tentang diri sendiri dulu sebelum diri orang lain . some things, they gone for good.
buat masa sekarang. tak ley predict dah apa akan jd. so, kalau ade option dalam hidup, pilihlah yang terbaik and yang paling bagus untuk hidup dan bukan kemegahan atau kepentingan dunia.

sekian trima kasih. :)

Love, dD.

happy birthday to me. :)

2009-11-15T01:53:00.005+08:00

hee.. yesterday was my birthday..

thanks to everyone yang dah wish especially orang2 yang kat facebook..
thanks sebab korang ingat gak kat d :)
this year is tahun yang paling d happy sebab ramai yang ade dengan dD.
esk lak ade bbq! wee.. hope everythn akan ok sajee..
takde ape2 nak cerita lah... sebab tak pegi mane-mane punn and takde ape2 interesting kecuali having fun with friends and crapp a lot when it comes to hyper times.
naaa, now im waiting for the right time to call my friend, atiqah, nk cakap pasal bbq esk. inviting her too but tataw lah whether she can make it or not.
hope faiz can come too. hope mak kasik comey come to my house jugakk..

hadiah lak, d nak say thanks to cheng yee, farah izzaty, atiqah shahruddin,
atiqah rosedi, faiz al-hady, mum and dad. :)
and to dede, shazwani, bashirul syafiq khan, nizam, thanks sebab call trus. lol.

-im too happy- :P
till then, god bless.

birthday without cake, tak best. tapi maseh gembira. :)

One last grip before i fall.

2009-11-15T01:33:00.004+08:00

One piece by two paths

Slides to the last great

Creeping to the dead, hardly reach the fastest life

I’m still finding the truth.

Asking plea by plea

Tip toed to you

Hoping for the best you could do

Sometimes to be the second is the best choice

But to have the second chance is a threadlike hope.

Way too distant to have you

Way too deep, ‘yo te amo’

Way too hard to get into you

Way too hasty to let go off you

Way too tough to forget who you are.

Here is to you,

My tiny-lil’-way too simple wish,

Oh, please don’t say you won’t stay...

Staring the one from far, hoping someday you will realize.

Heart issues.

2009-10-27T17:12:00.004+08:00

ni sume pic dD nagn comey suke. eheh.. itu, gambar saye kene buli nagn comey. tah pepe tul. okayy.. im dilemma again.. cheng plak kasik d rindu die. wany plak kasik d tringat sal gelang iqee kasik dlu. sedeyh la tak jumpe balik.. haihh.. i blame zaza untuk tu. hurmm.. *issshh, tv suma tadak cita best*

im bored pple, im bored. kalau ada motor dah lama ada kat egate sebab rase cam nk g mamam kat noodle station. i wonder, ape laaa ibu nak kasik mase birthday nnt. woot2! jgn lupe kasik d hadiah okayy?? lol. sekolah tggl lagi brape minggu je.. mesti nnt bosan gyle.

mum is now in kedah and dad is in kL. dah laa abg takde. haihh.. rumah jadi sunyi. but nsib baik ley online la kann.. hurm, if not sepanjang hari, tido je keje. for now, d rase cam takde idea nak menulis balik cam dulu. maybe sebab lame tiggal kan. nak bace blog post orang lain pun cam malas gyle. but nvm, try balik pelan2.

to fz saye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLFbvaN310c

to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T9vPJJpUAE

Love, Me.

India celup. :P

2009-10-27T16:42:00.004+08:00

i don't know why i cannot log in to my facebook account. aghhh! sibuk tul. RIMUP was fun but not as fun as last years. but never mind, it's okay with me and RIMUP end so fast. hurm.. that day jgak iqee balik from Hong Kong. she brought back souvenirs. die kasik tshirt. thanks iqee! tu la wat cek sayang. lol.

okay2, one day befor rimup plak, d sibuk nak amik saree kat rumah farah. sebab die beli for my birthday present and d rase cam nk pkai on rimup day. so, lpas amik saree, d ngan comey naik bus turun kat prangin. lpas tuw, plan nk beli blaus for that saree plak. from prangin we both walk to little india. find for tht saree's inner, then walk back to prangin, met fatimah aka soya and my day end there.

esok tuw, dah start rimup. punya la seksa nak carik orang reti ikat that sari.

OMG, i regret but ok lahh.. cun gak. lol.

susah payah d that day pakai sari, jalan kaki and stuff, hasilkan ini. :)

heee..

haha, me and comey.

ini cheng yee, kawan baik saye. :P

owh, ini pun die jugak. *-.-'*

basyirah, comey, dD. :)

banyak lagi gambar yang tak upload. lagi banyak kat fb k? -peace out-

Final exam - kemenangan dalam peperangan. lol.

2009-10-18T17:30:00.003+08:00

this is me. bbq kat batu feringghi after PMR and final exam habis. fiuuhh! relieve...

now again d kat rumah comey.. saje lepak2. im boredd. leaving home is the only solution. iqee, pergi hong kong for one week. alaahhh, nak balik dahh.. we all gylee windu youu.. so, hope awak balik penang, malaysia dngan selamat. RIMUP kat sekolah is on this coming friday-23rd oct.

im wearing sarii!!! woohoo!
hari kebudayaan is hari yang paling dD tunggu2. so, ok lah pple.
next update is lpas RIMUP lpas. wee!
toodles!

today. <3

2009-09-27T14:16:00.003+08:00

The promises never break,To cherish our Love never dull,To share those times together never leave,Holding hands never let it go, face troubles never turn back,Wipe those tears never ignore.Mean everything never lie.

p.s: i Love you.

2009-09-27T13:40:00.002+08:00

i love them. :)

nie mase g open house rmh farah. hahah. raye tahun nie, not bad laa.

d takde ape nk cakap kat sini punn..

lack of idea. sorry. take care. thanks to everyone.

and iqee, im sorry. really i am.

Masih seperti dahulu.

2009-09-27T13:32:00.000+08:00

Dulu, masih mentah. Bangun pagi. ‘Sejuk,’ mengaduku. Yang aku tahu, petang, kami akan beramai-ramai singgah menjenguk kubur atuk yang kini hanya ditempa nama. Doa disedekahkan.
Rumah yang dilawat, siapa? Aku tidak tahu. ‘maaf zahir batin’ itu yang disebut-sebut. Entah dimaksudkan atau hanya kebiasaan. Pujian mengungkap senyuman anak-anak kecil. lucu sekali. Baju baru tetapi masih orang yang sama.
Lebih kemungkinan yang akan aku sapa dan bersalaman pada hari pertama itu tidak aku kenali. Fikir orang tua-tua, besar nanti adik-beradik pun tidak kenal.
Bila menjelang pacaknya matahari, mula mengadu. ‘ibu, ngantukk.. mengantukk. Jom balik, panas.’ Ibu yang sedang asyik berbual, entah apalah yang dicakapkan. Tidak putus-putus. Aku bingung. Masih dipanggil budak lah katakan. ‘Usahlah menyampuk,’ kata orang tua-tua. Itu semua ketika aku masih tidak mengenal dunia.

Ketupat, lemang, rendang, kuih samprit. Hanya itulah kegemaran aku yang hanya aku kenal pada hari pertama itu. Malam-malam, bunga api menghiasi belakang rumah arwah atuk. Aku tidak berani untuk bermain. Kata ibu, bahaya. Nanti percikan masuk mata. Aku budak baik. Apa ibu cakap, semua aku turut. Ibu kata, ibu sayang akan aku.

Masa aku kecil dulu, kampung masih ramai orang. Tua-tua semuanya. Malu lah aku. Baik duduk senyap-senyap bawah ketiak ibu.
Sepupu yang pulang makin lama makin tidak bertegur-sapa. Nenek keluar dari bilik. hari pertamanya yang sangat bersih. Putih, namanya. Seperti tuan empunya badan juga.
Pagi, nenek hanya menjamu kopi kosong dengan biskut kering. Itu pun sudah boleh menyaranya sehingga ke hari ini. Abang tidak lekang dengan kamera digital. Aku masih, kecil. Aku tidak faham erti hari pertama itu lagi. Beramai-ramai berkumpul. Memori terpancar. foto yang diingati, kini digantung menhiasi bilik ibu.

Hari ini, orang yang aku lihat, ‘owh, dia rupanya.’ Hidup telah berubah. Sangat berbeza. Aku telah mula melangkah mengenali orang-orang sekeliling. Ketiak ibu usang, aku sudah besar. Tangan ibu dan ayah menjadi pengampun.
Baju raya menjadi aset kecantikan. Kegembiraan terukir dengan senyuman-senyuman yang dihiasi oleh adik-beradik yang tidak ketinggalan pulang menjenguk nenek dan atuk yang masih menunggu nenek hadir disisinya semula.
Sekarang aku lah yang membantu ibu. Angkut kuih muih dari dapur, atur elok diatas meja. Kini orang kampung sudah tidak ramai. Ramai yang mencari rezeki diluar. Tetapi masih meriah. Kakak dan abang sepupu yang sudah besar bangkitkan lagi suasana raya sebagai seorang yang mula mengenali dunia dewasa. Duit raya yang dulunya semua aku beri pada ibu. Tapi, sekarang duit raya akan aku gunakan belanja sini sana. Sekarang juga kanak-kanak ramai yang datang. Menunjukkan ramai yang telah memulakan satu intitusi keluarga untuk kebahagiaan. Hari pertama yang disebut-sebut ini adalah hari yang telah aku sambut setiap tahun selama 15 tahun aku hidup iaitu hari raya aidilfitri. Foto yang ditangkap setiap tahun masih digantung. Juga masih menghiasi indah, melengkapi kamar ibu.

since that day you've gone

2009-09-03T20:08:00.000+08:00

I skipped chapters until I found you.

The beginning is the happiest moment.

Even so, the end is the hardest ever.

Memories ripped me

As the day, I go through my unpredictable life.

The world has changed.

Everything has changed.

Since you, and your fake smile appear.

Good things will not last forever.

I will live my every single second without you

I must accept everything.

Accept that I can never expect you to stay here.

To stay for ever.

i'm stuck with the girl in the mirror.

suppose im nothing without you.

2009-08-24T17:22:00.002+08:00

now kat office aaaayyyyaahh.
gyyyyleee sjukk. im freezing.
haiih, dala sjuk.. pastuw satgi pulakkk, gastric.
percaye lahhhhh!

eekkk... +.+

manggooo..

2009-08-24T15:58:00.002+08:00

Okayy.. lets start with wht happn JUSTNOW on this palat day.
Pi young one, punyaaa laaa syiookk dok pilih nak paper warne ape suma, byaq2, nak blah da la nie. Pastu punya laa dok tggu, awat dia tak buh dlam plastic wei? Dala byk. D pun ckap laaa… ‘erm, can I have plastic bag, pleaseeeeee?’ then taw tak amoi tua tuw ckp pa.. “ Monday, no plastic” sambil dok tunjuk kat pe bende notice. Walaooo! Kalao kat shoppng complex pun takde plastic! Dahsyat tuhh!
Hoping can habis kan the board thingy. Planed to siapkan alone lah. Aceehh independnt la konon. Tgk2, lupe bwk gunteng, gam pe kebende suma yang main tak bwak. Pdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan mukaaa!!! arrghghhhH! Bodoh. Then now im stucked here, in school pulak its raining. Connection tak allow me to online. Stupid shit. Ahhhh… I dunno wht to do.. owh. Keadaan memaksa d untuk wat folio bm saaaaampai habis! Wlaooo kurengg. Buang mase je g young one, g bangun awal, g mandi wangi2. bengaapppp. Sapalaa suroh hang tggai gunteng minahhhh!! Aih, now, rase cam nk kne maigrain pulak. Should makan dlu tdi.. weyyhhh.. bm bm bm!! Tadak idea.. ayah pulak g amik my pendrive. Apa aku nk buat skung nie weeyyhhh! Gyla bosan. Okay, tggu lagi beberapa min, hujan stop kita choww. dD, lain kali jangan bengap sangat. Okayh2?? Siot tol.

sepoy-sepoy bahasa

2009-08-24T15:09:00.001+08:00

Dari baka pertama hingga kini, masih perlukan bimbingan. Dari ku kecil hingga dewasa, masih perlukan bantuan. Dari aku baru lahir sehingga ke sekolah menengah, masih perlukan pendidikan. Aku tahu dunia sangat luas. Aku tahu semuanya daripada orang tuaku yang amat ku sayangi.

Tanah yang ku berpijak sekarang masih punyai sisa-sisa yang tidak diterokai. Bencana yang hampir melenyapkan setengah dari semangat di muka bumi ini demi pengajaran. Semua berlaku dengan sebab yang munasabah.Segalanya berlaku tanpa diundang walaupun sebabnya atas manusia yang sendirinya membawa kerosakan.
Sembahlah, kau bumi, sembahlah kau, seluruh alam ini. Sembahlah pada tuhan yang maha satu.

Aku masih merenung ke hujung padang yang menghijau. Masih memikirkan adakah mustahil untuk sekali lagi aku lari ke hujung sana tanpa henti. Atau adakah sempat untukku meraih kejayaan apabila ku tangguh sesuatu untuk esok hari. Masihkah ada esok untuk diri ini yang hanya mempunyai hati yang sangat kecil. Zarah, aku di mata tuhan. Adakah aku mempunyai takdir yang senasib dengan orang-orang yang bertuah atau sebaliknya.

Aku masih perlukan kamu untuk mengharungi semua halangan yang akan datang. Aku masih perlu melihat kamu walaupun dari jarak jauh. Aku perlukan setiap kata yang memberi ku semangat untuk terus tempuhi semua demi kejayaan yang ingin ku junjung satu hari nanti.

pokok, apalah nasib kau. Apalah nasibku esok. Apakah nasib semua orang? Aku tahu yang kau tahu. Bersuaralah, jawab pertanyaanku! Apakah yang tuhan beritahu kepada kau yang membuatkan kamu tidak putus dan terus beriman kapadanya. Aku tidak beriman sepertimu. Aku tidak layak untuk hidup lama. Aku seorang lemah. Aku tidak tabah mengharungi dugaan dengan keimanan. Aku seorang yang tidak layak menerima hidayah tetapi aku perlukan itu untuk terus hidup.

Allah memang adil. Aku tidak dapat kebahagiaan. Aku tidak dapat kenteraman. Semuanya sebab aku tidak menyembahmu, ya allah! Tetapi aku mohon, berikanku satu peluang untuk mendapat hidayahmu, agar ku bahagia dunia akhirat.
Kerna Aku lemah di bumi ini, lagi lemah untuk azab nerakamu…

Soal dunia sahaja.

2009-08-12T16:02:00.005+08:00

Seorang demi seorang kini susah untuk ku percayai. Termasuk kawan karib yang sentiasa menemaniku. Hari ini ku telah tahu perkara sebenar. Aku makin lemah untuk menerima hakikat setelah perkara yang sama telah berulang buat kali keempat. Perkara yang mungkin mudah untuk diterima. Tetapi, sungguh susah untuk dipercayai dan hidup di dalam kenyataan. Malam-malam yang ku rasa ditemaninya tapi disebalik, hanya satu harapan yang tak pernah kesampaian. Setiap malam yang ku harap untuk hanya dihadiri oleh ku tapi telah dihadiri orang lain. Mimpi yang ku harap hanya mainan kini menjadi orang yang sentiasa diingatinya. Adakah aku ini satu kekurangan? Perkara yang kini dianggap lampau berulang tanpa diundang. Hati ini hampir tertutup kerana yang menggantikan ku adalah seorang kakak kandung. Adakah ini sesuatu yang kerap berlaku. Atau adakah ini memang sudah tertulis. Atau mungkin memang aku adalah satu kekurangan.

Tiada sesiapa yang menjangka atau memberitahu kapadaku. Adakah itu satu kebaikan walaupun ku percaya bahawa mengetahui dari awal adalah sesuatu yang ku harapkan.

Aku tidak sangka bahawa pesanan yang dihantar yang telah ku ingatkan ialah satu tempat mengadu. Dan ku harus mempercayai itu yang telah menjadikanku seorang yang tolol kerana Tidak mempercayai gerak hati sendiri. Lebih mempercayai orang lain termasuk daging yang mengalirkan darah yang sama denganku. Aku masih tertanya adakah sanggup seseorang itu mempersoalkan kepercayaanku walaupun dirinya sendiri yang melakukan kesalahan.

Aku mungkin masih keliru dengan pendirian mu. Aku masih keliru apa yang kau inginkan. Adakah semua itu satu taktik yang mungkin tidak pernah ku fahami atau satu jalan mudah untuk memperdayakan seseorang yang bernama Aku?

Keluhan yang selama ini ku harapkan bahagia tetapi kini ku telah tahu apa yang sentiasa disembunyikan. Jawapan yang sering ku tanya apabila kau menghilang setiap malam telah diperjawabkan. Masalah yang timbul dengan penyelesaian yang mudah telah dipersoalkan dan apa yang ku raih adalah satu kehampaan. Adakah ini adil bagi seseorang yang masih belajar sepertiku. Adakah adil untuk seorang yang hanya mahukan hak milik yang kekal?

Mungkin ini memang mainan dunia. Tiada sesiapa yang berhak memperoleh apa yang diimpikan malah lagi mempersoalkan mengapa. Mengapa, dan mengapa.

Aku tidak mempersalahkan takdir kerana masalah ini telah disesaikan. Tetapi adakah sesuatu yang boleh untuk mempercayai seseorang yang sangat kita sayangi? Aku tahu aku bukan yang terbaik untuk dirimu. Yang ku harapkan Cuma satu peluang untuk ku hidup bahagia tanpa masalah.

Aku gembira bila mendengar kata-kata manis darimu. Tapi kini menjadi persoalan. Adakah kau betul-betul maksudkan atau satu ayat yang hendak meyakinkan diriku tidak ditipu. Aku

mempersoalkan hidup duniawi. Aku masih mempersoalkan tentang takdir. Aku masih soalkan tentang karma. Dan aku masih persoalkan tentang kepercayaan keduniaan.

Apa yang membuatku sentiasa mempersoalkan adalah mengapa aku kerap melalui perkara yang tidak pernah ku lakukan kepada seseorang? Walaupun seorang.

Aku masih tidak kuat untuk melaluinya. Setiap satu perkara akan mengingatkanku tentang semua yang pernah dipersoalkan sepanjang perjalanan hidupku.

Aku hanya mampu melayarkan diriku di atas tulang belakangku sendiri dan mengatakan,

“ya allah! ajarkanku, didiklah aku supaya mempercayai takdir.” Hanya aku dalam sayu.

heart? ache? or both?

2009-08-12T15:37:00.004+08:00

too much to think. i don't care what they say anymore.
i don't care bout anything for now.
but i know you wont take back what u had thrown.
i'm sorry for everything. i know i don't deserve to have you.

butplease,iwantyoutostay.
i Love you..

Sweat, sick, Stuck, suck.

2009-08-02T20:19:00.002+08:00

now im stuck here at nasik kandar salam, alor setar. fuck laa.. i wanna go home. everyone has forgotten bout me. sunshine busy with her study and im here, alone, onlining like dumbo. hello? what are u looking at??! shisshh! i hate here. i just wanna go home. dont want nasik kandar, dont want teh tarik, dont want to hear any song, dont want to update any profile. i want to go home. thats all.
done 'quite' well for the trafic warden interview and now kene di test for two month pulak. im scared. remind me of my past- became a ketua pengawas pusat sumber when i was in standart 6 and semua cikgu kenal. takut, malu, hidup terkawal. but ok la tuw, berpengalaman u knoww.. hahah..

now, kene jadi baik.. tak ley mkn dlm kelasss and satu yang paling takut, i must clean up all those demerit. how weyyhh?? study is now still, under construction. everything is going very well. satisfaction is now number one. hehh. owh, only one more result left. still wondering who won for the aku anak malaysia tingy. now is 8.30pm. another two hours, if dad still not here, im gonna kill myself in this nasik kandar salam's toilet. im fucking tired, no offense. realllllllllyy tired. i need fressh air. i need a pillow. i need dad cause i wanna go home.
woi mamak! apa tgok2??! pasang lagu zara zara touch me kasik dgr baru taw. apalah...
sorry la guna korang nyer letrik dari kul 12pm td. but hello, i pay for it. okayy?? neway, can i just stop any car and ask them to send me home? bcause, i reaallly wanna go homeee!!

unleash your confident.

2009-08-02T19:10:00.003+08:00

okok, forget bout those chung lings pic and stuff. short update.
im tooooooo busy lately. and im tired. baru habiskan my ICT assignment. at last.
hehh. now im not in penang. where? not important for yall to know. erm, iqee, seriously, i miss you. lol. haaaa, someone still have my pendrive and mengelak everytime i ask bout it. whatever mista. i need it no matter what. gtaw aunty baru taw.

haha. arr, what elseee...

owh, gonna have fun at batu feringghi this friday. half of the class is goin. overnight there for one day. hope its gonna be real fun. good luck to PMR candidates. All the best for yall nyer trials.
take care everyone, thanks to iqee and my darlings from 4 topaz. dadaa!

p/s: bulan ini bulan penting. next update is lagi beberapa bulan. lol. wink!

huhh??

2009-06-29T11:37:00.003+08:00

owh, short update.
gonna upload some pics from chung ling's gathering and some idk pics. now, in school. later, guides have that whatever cabaran. wish me luck pple. btw, i miss iqee. she didnt come to school tday. huhu. and, i miss chien ming also. hee~ dadaa!

tag fromm kakakku kichiii. lol.

2009-06-09T09:59:00.002+08:00

1)Bekas kekasih saya adalah
awat laaaa.. soklan awai2 hang dok mrepekk.

2)Saya sedang mendengar
school band playing marching dreamm. ;)

3)Mungkin saya patut...
trun dari meja dan ddk di atas kerusi. -.-"

4)Saya suka....
diri sendiri.

5)Sahabat-sahabat saya....
suma kelolo. apa itu?? tanya mak.

6)Saya tak paham....
kenape orang yang patut mai meeting, tak mai2 lagi.. pungkok toi la depaa.

27)Saya kehilangan....
sepasang baju dalam. hehh. no, seriously, i lost mine.

8)Ramai yang berkata....
"lawak la hang" walau pun, saya rasa, saya tidak.

10)Cinta itu adalah...
satu perasaan?? dan ssh untuk dicari tapi mudah untuk dirasa tetaapi, menyakitkan.. sangat menyakitkan. hurrmm.. tappii!! cinta itu tak semestinya bawak kebahagiaan walaupun harini, ko jatuh cinte dan rasee sangatttt happy. hehh.

11)Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang...
Dok buat bagooihhh..

12)Saya akan cuba....
jadi yang terbaik dalam diri sendiri. :)

13)Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud....
sampai bila2 la weii.. em, actual meaning, pi cari kamuss~!!

14)Telefon bimbit saya...
ada mssge. tapi malaih nk baca.. tapi saye tahu mesti iqee. hee.

15)Bile saya terjaga....
slalu tak siang2 lagi. (sbb saye tidur petang.) lol.

16)Saya paling meluat....
bila hanie nak pi cium2. lol. taklahh... errmm, takdak meluat apa2 punn.. hahahh.

17)Pesta/parti adalah....
dalam bahasa inggerisnyee adalah PARTY. ;) iaitu tmpat begolek2

18)Haiwan yang paling comel penah saya temui...
adalah haiwan peliharaan saya. soon-to-be.

19)Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan saya ialah...
mase 15 tahun walaupun ada pmr.. untuk sekarang arr.. tngok 2,3 tahun nnt. mesti suka this year. lol.

20)Hari ini...
membengangkan otak ini. mana suma orng la doinks!

21)Malam ini saya akan...
menagis seorang diri. hehh..

22)Esok pula saya akan...
gembira.

23)Saya betul2 inginkan....
kehidupan yang senang supaya boleh dapat i-phone. sbb, saya dah suro ayah smpan duit nk bli new bike, to spend for my studies. heheheheh.

24)Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini...
ya rabbi.. mataku bengkak, donggg..

25)Pusat membeli belah atau arked permainan:
ape-ape jeee.

26)Makanan barat atau jepun:
suma pun den sapuu. lol.

27)Bilik yang terang atau gelap:
terang tak terang... cmner tuww?? hahh! lampu kaler oren tuw kasik tenang. lol.

28)makanan segera adalah:
makan duit orang sajaaaaa... tapi makan jugak. hehh.

29)Ayat terakhir yang anda telah katakan pada seseorang:
haaa, okayy. welcome. (kat cikgu mana entahh)

30)Siapa yang anda ingin tag:
siapa-siapa yang bace ini tag sammmpai habis. :) buat ok... tak buat jaga diaa... hehh.

at last, he's not mine.

2009-06-09T09:50:00.002+08:00

i bacame a single girl again since lastnight.

u broke ur promises and u never thank me for the bithday present make me morreee hate hate hate you.. but no matter how much i hate you, i still love you. and thanks for still be friends with me. and and.. im proud to call you a friend who always done well in ANY compatition. lol.

i miss you. take care, joshua. ;)

cutii lagii

2009-06-09T09:44:00.002+08:00

cuti tinggal lagi 5 hari. preparation untuk chung ling's gathering saye sangat tidak bertanggungjawab.
lastday of meeting baru nk g. bukan sengaja tapi terlalu busy dengan macam-macam.
and oh, i lost my journal.. haiihhh.. i forgot where i put it and im scared if anyone would read it.
conclusion, i've to spend money for newww journal.
now, im in school. waiting for the other ranger to come. meeting starts at 10. i've to get ready to shake-shake. owh, i've to dance at the gathering but as a group. dengan my sayang, cheng2. :)
i miss school. and i miss you.

Week-ending.

2009-05-24T20:32:00.006+08:00

i feel free and a lil mind-peace after spend some time at Queensbay yesterday. went for some window shopping and few accessories. and not to forget, i went home with empty sack aka pokaii.

seems today is kinda hot to just stayy and sleep at home, my dad brought me and my youngeez sisters went for a walk at youth park.

later, back to my bookss. prepare for exams.
this is the last week before holidays start. can't wait and i really miss to live peacefully.
gotta hit the hay early today.
so, will update my blog with pics next time. needa finish my bussy-nezz with fb and ms.

take care! may god bless.

Somehow.

2009-05-20T17:11:00.010+08:00

walk across the green; feeling gray.
something scribbled my brain.
my thought of spending some time for some new air has gone.
start the day with distress
hopes that too high; hoping to see you, angel.

a barely single tears make me weak.
a single trifling memories push me closer to the ground.
can't you feel the same gravity on how we live this life?
or your soul negligibly enough to hide it from me.
knew you won't even answer any plea
but please, act like you care even that you don't.

one step back brought me to the past
when i still cleave to have you.
someday you'll be here.
but somehow, you're already gone.

-Me-

i miss you much much

2009-05-18T19:54:00.001+08:00

You've definately found a soulmate in this person.
He enjoys every second with you,
and when your apart he can't stop thinking about you!
Hold on to this one!

they said that. but i don't tink soo.. hurm.

Home alone

2009-05-17T15:43:00.002+08:00

Yea yea.. alone at home. pagi tadi kene migraine. gilaa sakit.
parents, hunn and my two younger sisters is now in Kedah
for some holiday trip and balik kampung for three days.
they'll be back home tonight i guess.
actually, saje tanak g.
i had a big butt enough to not being a ringan pungkok
to do those packing stuff for a holiday in kedah.
ish, I've better things to do here lah.

STUDY.
eww, blue looks ugly..
let it be.. PuRPLE!

STUDYYY..
but purple looks uglier, no offence.
erghh, nvermind.

first day of exam is tomorrow, monday.
first paper is ICT then BM second paper.
gonna off my hand phone like usual and
not gonna reply any comments on fs, fb and ms instead.
i don't think i can score all A's for this coming exam.
in fact, I'm play-a-full in class and not attend to study but friends.
wish me luck, people.

people come, people go.
erm, i didn't hear any news from him.
the latest is, on last Wednesday.
i really miss him right now. exams coming and he disappear like always.
he's not around,
i hope the same thing from others.
i need my own time to forget all my problems I'm having now
and concentrate on my exams.
i miss being single and i miss him much much.

p/s: Love you much much more, Love.

All the best to everyone. ;)

Angelfish and shahila. ;)

2009-05-11T22:22:00.004+08:00

Okayy, let's start from what happened to my angelfish.
Angelfish, died, full stop.

Today kat skolah shahila came to our school for the hanna montana tingy. tak sempat to take her signature and i'm sad. shila comel woo.. rase cam skolah tak adil. bawak orang poyo ja pi tgk the concert. grr!! okok, chill. erm, today study not bad. class byak tadak cikgu 'cause some of them busy pasal exam and form sixes.

yesterday celebrated mother's day. The day before yesterday, hunny and i stay up all night. We made cupcakes for mum. nothing much to tell bout those cupcakes. just, it taste Not Bad, dow. ;)
pukul 11, Go gurney plaza. makan2 and jalan2. then at 1 someting walk back home. hehh. yeah, tiring. because of tak tidur, i slept at 3 untill 9. haha. baruuuu, celebrate harii mak ituu. know what, bangun2, jadi bodo buat smentara waktu.
here goes some of the pics. more bout mother's day posted on the blog of hunny. lol.
check this out.

Happy mother's day to my beloved mum,
Siti Norhana Binti Mohd Akhir
and not to forget,
Aunty
the one who i love and admire much.

<3>

Rock hard, live free

2009-05-07T22:18:00.004+08:00

The best is when you say the worst is over

It's like saying we had luck with a three leaf clover
And you kept saying that over and over
And I still catch you looking over your shoulder
And it's okay;
I know the only times you really loved me,
were the times when you weren't sober
And that hurts. We all hurt.
And I kept saying that over and over
just say it like you mean it..

I really can't recall what happened today in school.
the only thing i remember is, I'm being a pillow-head for this whole day.
termasuk, NOW.

Tadii stay back. sembang, makan. balik.

not much gossip bout chicks in that school. just complainss.
hidup saye byk buang masa.- tak bagus.
good rest, nice sleep, and good breathing while sleeping
is what I'm hoping for, when time past 11p.m.
people, I'm sleepy and tired. good night, sweet dreams. :)

p/s: miss youu.

Captured.

2009-05-06T23:43:00.009+08:00

Readers, any picture you like or u feel like having it, just right click and save. these pics don't have right protect. don't cha worry. =)

Randomly captured:

100plus kacau!

Saint's sports day:

Ini suma orng saye knl okayyy! aiyoo. -.-"

Georgian fiestaa:

spot the hot.. haha.. xD answer:NON.

Updatee!

2009-05-05T16:22:00.004+08:00

Yesterday.
I went to school with 'new hair'. shy weeyh. everyone was like 'dD! apa sudaa jadii'
but thank god they said not badd. okay sajee. eheh. but i admit some of them said i look better with straight hair. arrr, never mind.
what happened in class? owh, i've been switched place from third last row to verry front row. person who seats in front of the teacher's table. Owh, I'm glad! shhish! actually everyone had been switched places because we had to rearrange those tables so our class gonna be a lil' bit luas. accept for those 4 pple who are verry the good girls. starts from now on, i promised to get all my books updated. wuaaa! takut dow dduk depan skali.
masa bm, saya sangat rajin. :)
lately i'm kinda busy. with homeworks, assignments, folios, class, friends, Internet cable. lol. whatever. sigh. so, sorry for the late updates on my blogs, ms and fs.
walaupun mmg saye cakap saye lpas online, tido.. tapi actually saye cakap tido sebab malas nak layan siape2 so that i can do my revision or homeworks. harap maklum yee.
so, calubete. -peace-

Today.
Didn't go to school. sick and tired. sick and sick and sick. actually not really sick. just sick. huhh?? nvermind. woke up at 11. had my breakfast and online.
had my lunch, online.
update my blog, checkup for new assignment and again, online.
update myspace and fs.
later, do homeworks and pulun call people ask for today's homework.
ciao!

have a nice rainy day. :)

New hair?? haha

2009-05-03T23:02:00.002+08:00

Grr! 2.00 p.m,
went to Kimage for hair trim but at last decided to perm.
yaya.. now have got new hair already. gembira kaa? ahah. maybe. kinda.
mum was like "alaahh, baru harini, tgk nnt two or three days more.." aiyoo.

planed for a movie tapi tak jadi.
bout my hair pun just kept as a secret. let pple know sendiri.
whole day was okay but justnow got to know tat ade orang keluar tak gtaw. siggh!
menyampah but, whatever.

Love, dD

What i hope for

2009-04-26T14:11:00.003+08:00

The promises never break,
To cherish our Love never dull,
To share those times together never leave,
Holding hands never let it go,
When catch troubles never turn back,
Wipe those tears never ignore.

Mean everything never lie.
p.s: i Love you.

babablacksheep happy2 me

2009-04-20T23:33:00.003+08:00

And not to forget. the trophies we get. :)

i'm proud to be one of them.

Sggs- 1st
convent datuk keramat- 2nd
Peng Hua- 3rd

And the baju we paid to pakai jadi baju tdoq.
sampai tua pun terlebih fit. besaq nak matiiiii. LOL.

sekian, terima kasih. :)

p.s: wish you were here.

last two days post- II

2009-04-20T21:57:00.016+08:00

Mula-mula sampai st. Xavier, yes, i dunno where to go. luckily Cheng Yee, my friend tggu kat depan to bawak i masuk and letak bag and stuff. then lpas tggu punya lama nak dekat kul satu dah. masing-masing busy gyla nak siap itu ini. at first we all cm happening then lama2 abit down sbb some of em became very passive. we all cheer until tekak cm nak terkeluar. that is my first time to cheer for st. George's girl guides. but i did enjoy myself for doing all those stuff. by the time free style dance time came, we all cm "weyh dance! dance" ahaa. luvenia dance gyla best weyh. she's hot, no offence. walaupun tiring but i satisfied with the results we get. and everyone yang involved especially all the rangers done their darn awesome great job. we all cncentrate to whats happening in the hall until tak smpat nk tangkap2 gambar for ourself but other people. hee. our school ingtkan cm tak ok. but CDK act serious like a bitch. hate em. tapi diorng suma hott worrr. tbakaq pungkok all those guys tgk. haiyoo!

these are the pictures i manage to captured during the
St. xavier's gathering and fire camp 2009.

On the wayyy- post office beside momo. lol.

getting bussyy bebeh.

Getting started

dance comp.(sggs)

sggs performing the Mini Dance Floor

this is when the dance floor make them high. lol

Getting ready for the fire camp
ini turkaa dan jenny whats the problem. :)

ouh, the sun loves us.

sook yee. she's cute isn't she. <3

the shufflerss.

love this shot. so, what? haha. :P

sggs torch

peng hua's torch

Chunnted! :)

mine and sook yee's. glow in the dark.
so the one who wears it. :)

Sayonaraa..
sakit kakii..

my looovey friend, sook yee.

cheng2, melayu celup. <3

dad's -peace-

THE END. Love, dD.

crushh? LOL

2009-04-16T20:53:00.002+08:00

i'm in love with the one, who i used to call him, Sir. :)
no no, i'm not desprate. hes too cute to resist. lol.
dia ada gf d la doinks! *piak! slap on head*

<3 peace! aha.

superstitious saja ja

2009-04-16T20:02:00.003+08:00

hahaa. first day jage schools cafe. sangattt sibuk. then, malas nak update blog pulak. tapi, nak gtaw jugaklah menda ni. lpas atiqah balik umrah, die kasik choc. banyakkk! :)

p.s: winduu bB. :'(

bestfriend?

2009-04-14T03:04:00.004+08:00

As you noticed, yeah I'm gonna talk bout best friend. I do have best friend. a lot. but not true best friend. like last time i thought i had one. and i thought we can make it till the end like forever. but nope.
something bad happened and yes, it turned upside down. i am sad but just for a few months. and i get to know she already had a new best friend. a bunch of them. sapa tak sedeyh weyy tgk best friend pi kawan ngan orng lain. but whatodo. as long she's happy.
i miss her and i miss our old times together. felt like shes the only one who understands me. shes the only one i could tell my probs too. i admire and respect her till today 'cause she's clever and too clever for a person just like me. i know i tak sesuai to make friends with you but still, i hope things gonna back like the old times.
i just knew that she ade blog on last week. and i thought shes not gonna reply my massage at the shout mix tingy. but she did. sigh. i miss you. will never find a best friend like you anymore. although what had happened make me believe, not to trust anybody. i will never forget you for the one who understands me and the one who help me to make a decision which brought me here, today.

p.s: memories won't fade but you're the one who forgotten, for you're the one who build your new life for new breathe. and Oh!, Ariyani is the name.

p.s.s: if you read this post, remember? ariyani binti zarif. ahaa.. take care. :)

You shine me on

2009-04-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

hee. i'm happy altho i'm missing someone. ahah. text with Tabeto, and online online online. heheh. again, talk bout girls and i haunt for cockroach because kacau orng maw mandi. thn dapat new name, kiwi. :)

thanks apple. ;)

up to nowhere

2009-04-12T19:19:00.008+08:00

GENERAL
Name: diena
Birth date: Nov 14th
Birthplace: Pahang
Current Location: Malaysia
Eye Color: dark dark brown
Hair Color: dark dark chestnut
Height: short
Weight: heavy
Piercings: not telling
Tatoos: non
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: boyfriend?
Overused phrase: hmm. wth? omg.

FAVORITES
Food: soup-ss
Candy: non
Number: 24, 26
Color: white, light pink and green
Animal: rabbit, cat and hamster. :)
Drink: white coffee, mocha, fresh fruit juice
Alcohol drink: non
Letter: M,J :)
Body part on opposite sex: not telling. perggh.

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing: either
Strawberry or Watermelon: Strawberry.
Hot tea or Ice tea: Hot
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate :)
Hot chocolate or coffee: coffee
Kiss or hug: both
Dog or cat: cat
Rap or punk: either
Summer or winter: tak mau dua-dua pun
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: both
Love or Money: Love

YOUR...
Bedtime: anytime
Most missed memory: not telling. :)
Best physical feature: non
First thought waking up: nak jumpe ke tak.
Goal for this year: straight A's for the lassttt exam.
Best friend: a lot. <3
Weakness: mental
Fears: death
Heritage: buat pa nak taw pun?

HAVE YOU...
Ever smoked: yes.
Pot: no
Ever been drunk: nope
Ever been beaten up: yes
Ever beaten someone up: duhh..
Ever shoplifted: nooo
Ever skinny dipped: omg
Ever kissed opposite sex: yes
Been dumped lately: no

IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: non
Favorite hair color: natural color
Short or long: short
Height: tall
Style: smart and simple. :)
Looks or personality: personality
Hot or cute: both. :D
Drugs and alcohol: not either
Muscular or really skinny: i don't mind, really.

RANDOMS
Number of regrets in the past: uncounted
What country do you want to visit: England
How do you want to die: in prayer
Been to the mall lately: yes
Do you like thunderstorms: no without him
Get along with your parents: yeap
Health freak: no, maybe
Do you think you're attractive: haha. nope.
Believe in yourself: rarely
Want to go to college: of course!
Do you smoke: no
Do you drink: nope
Shower daily: duhh..
Been in love: buat pa nk taw?
Do you sing: yes!
Want to get married: arr, yea
Do you want children: haha.yes.
Have your future kids names planned out: nooo..
Age you wanna lose your virginity: mana nak pi taw.. ayoyo
Hate anyone: nahhh, nope.

sighh.

2009-04-10T21:37:00.003+08:00

Is raining heavily now.
and i think there's gonna be a small pond in the middle of the school field.
and that is the reason why i cannot go to school last Thursday. hehh.

dad ask and dad go.
means,
he malas nak hantar i pi skolah la tuuu.. lol.

so, escaped from math. tension2.

today nothing much just seharian siang, my heartbeat tak stabil. gemuruh non-stop.
sangat sejuk la sekarang. i can't stop thinking. to call or not to.
hurm. goldfishee, help me. ;(
now days asyik text ngan Tabeto and tak habishabis cakap sal pompuan. hehh.
today Imany was absent so class jadi bosan. tak ley dengar Imany bercerita. hee.

inference for this post, takdak apa apa pun nak tulis, cuma bosan. :)

georgian idols audition.

2009-04-10T21:01:00.003+08:00

Tadi ada audition. ramai tak hadir. maybe because takut kut. some of them had been replaced with other people from their class gak.
i'm goin for the 20th punya orng. takut sialll!! and yes, i don't have any confident when i'm on the stage. the teacher's is staring at me like wtff??! i did tried my best to sing well although my hand shiver like hell weyhh. lutut gegaq woo. aha..

for the first time pegang microphone. tataw nak adjust jarak lagi. and i know my pitching lari style gila2 'cause i'm toooo nervous. so, whatever. the hall is full of students and seriously, i tak nmpak satu apa pun kecuali lantai yang bewarna pink. :P
bLuekk!! tak sedapnyaaa aku nyanyi harini. ahahah. i do regret. lpas trun stage macam nak pi btaw kat diorng nak nyanyi balik. but too bad, tak boleh mia. huhu. regreeettt!!! sorry guyys i tak nyanyi leklok. sorry to cheng cheng sangat2 sebab dia la bagi saye semangat hari2. sorry eh, korang. thank god, everything's over.

p.s: i'm glad and i miss you. A LOT.

today

2009-04-08T06:42:00.003+08:00

erm, every morning dad gonna open my room door to wake me up and tengok tengok i already wear my uniform and onlining. mesti my dad punah harapan nk kejut i bangun then hampeh takley guna pi online ja taw. hehh! atiqah gonna come to school today. dan selamat pulang selepas umrah yang sempurna. i am happy. ahah. suda two weeks tak jumpeee. wee! and again, hope today dapat nasib untung. winduu bB..

gonna get ready my stuff to school. take care!
;)

good morning school.

2009-04-07T06:14:00.003+08:00

Not because i woke up too early, not because i don't wanna go to school but because i'm too bored and i wanna post blog. tak susah kan? ahah.
Ingat nak text bB tadi to wish him good morning. but.. hurm, tak pe lah. nnt bukan die reply pun. i hope today gonna be not-so-tens day sebb dah tak larat nak letih.

lagi setengah jam then trus nak pakai kasut, jalan meredahi padang. nasib baik semalam diorng dah potong rumput. kalau tak kain penuh kemuncup. hehh! owh, and dD, dont forget to bring your baju pj and hair band. aiyok. fyi, im so nenek and forgetfull.
ingat arini lpas balik sekolah nak pi potong jam kat Perangin mall sebab jam yang ibu baru beli teramatlah besar. harap harap boleh pegi. lagipun hanie tadak kelas today. owh, sebelum tuw, nana, tolonglah jangan cakap aku ikat rambut mcm reena tasya sebab aku tak ikut dia pun. poyo tul. ok? orang lain pun ade la style snirikk! haiyok.

so okay lah people. gotta find my baju pj which i dont know where i kept. and gotta check my time table to tgk buku ape i tak bawak. and last, routine harian, tgk gambar orang.
< 3

Love, dD.

glory glory morning univers

2009-04-07T00:12:00.001+08:00

Still malas nak tidur sebab katil bersepah.
atiqah is coming back to malaysia soon.
setelah 2 weeks pegi umrah. alhamdulillah. mungkin dalam malam rabu die sampai.
then for uncle alen,
dD tak pernah lupe untuk berdoa for kesihatan uncle.
cepat-cepat sihat macam dulu okay? :)
walaupun uncle tak kan bace blog ni pun.

tonight, i feel a lil calm when chris told me tat maybe joshua busy pasal riding and stuff that's why die tak banyak contact. and die malas nak layan sape-sape pun. harap memang camtu lah. sebab rase macam nak give up dh.
thought wanna see him this saturday. maybe teman die if he's not busy. but im scared to ask him wether can or no. seems like hes not gonna answer my call pun this few weeks.

disebabkan orang pun dah bosan nak dengar saye cerite
pasal masalah masalah yang tak masuk akal ni.
so, sebab ni lah terciptanya blog ini.
saje saje suka suka.
malam ni sangat tak selesa untuk tidur
sebab rindu ramai orang.
daripada yang sangat rapat
sampailah yang ala ala rapat
sehinggalah orang tua.

and owh, malam mase perjalanan nak balik penang, mimpi sal bB. tapi lupa dah.
then tidur malam semalam mimpi sal uncle ngan aunty datang rumah to say bye bye sbb diorang dah nak g australia and gonna be back before my prom which is next year. kalau lah betul, kesian joshua sorang2 kat rumah. hehh! tapi yang pelik, asal tibe2 mimpi cmtuw. pelik.

okay lah.
saye nak sembang dengan hanie,
then mau tidur dengan aman
dan joshua di dalam otak.
shissh! duduk senyap2 disitu. I need you.

P.s: i Love you. <3

New blog

2009-04-06T19:51:00.001+08:00

Entah kenape rase macam nk create blog nih.
mungkin dh fenin kepala dengan yang lama.
and hey to new life without joshua.

Adakah saya gembira? oh, tidak.. Sedih dowh.
Hurm, die dah tak sayang kat saye kutt.
Biarlah. Asalkan hidup Joshua yang saye kenal tu bahagia.
Sambil tens, makan coklat. nyum2 but at the same time, bluek!
manis nk mati.. cukup satu bulan, gemuk balik.
hehh! owh, and listen people, i wanna be anorexic so that i can be thin.
so, wish me luck.

sick of this life.

Broken Coloured Pencils

My brain speaks, my fingers do the typing.

If this's the only way to keep you here.Then, it's not enough.

Thankful, Happiness, Money, Love.

Good life with a broken heart.

Same Mistake By James Blunt

Untuk bakal suami yang dirindui.

Kau beri rasa yang berbeda, mungkin ku salah.

Desperate?? No.

That's why we stay the same. :)

Send me away with the words of the love song.

I quit.

If you're trying to break my heart, it's working.

Greattt........~

Speed Chase! xD

Arghhh.. :O

Welcome back, DIENA HANIE.

Cracker :/

Through the morning, through the night. :)

Let it be tomorrow, please..

Cube try bace ini.

Syntax errorrr.

PERFECTLY ridiculous

kata amelia, satu batang banyak lubang. :O (itu poligami)

If i was to say that i love you, what would you say?

ICED

new life without heart.

heartless for three days.

Peek a butt ?

white is not what i wanted.

For you.. yes, You.

masa yang menentukan.

happy birthday to me. :)

One last grip before i fall.

Heart issues.

India celup. :P

Final exam - kemenangan dalam peperangan. lol.

today. <3

Masih seperti dahulu.

since that day you've gone

suppose im nothing without you.

manggooo..

sepoy-sepoy bahasa

Soal dunia sahaja.

heart? ache? or both?

Sweat, sick, Stuck, suck.

unleash your confident.

huhh??

tag fromm kakakku kichiii. lol.

at last, he's not mine.

cutii lagii

Week-ending.

Somehow.

i miss you much much

Home alone

Angelfish and shahila. ;)

Rock hard, live free

Captured.

Updatee!

New hair?? haha

What i hope for

babablacksheep happy2 me

last two days post- II

crushh? LOL

superstitious *saja ja*

bestfriend?

You shine me on

up to nowhere

sighh.

georgian idols audition.

today

good morning school.

glory glory morning univers

New blog

superstitious saja ja