Kau bagiku adalah cahaya.

Only god knows why. 

Love, Hope. <3 font="font">

I don't want you to love me.

I Been Trying TryingHold My Head Up HighI Been Lying LyingKeeping It All InsideMaybe I Could Trust You, YeahTake Another Leaf, I'm Broke Yeah Yeah???

I'm Done, I Give UpI Don't Wanna Pretend No MoreThat's It, So WhatI've Lost A Friend BeforeGonna Say It Like It IsNo More Wondering What IfThat Ain't The Way You Oughta LiveCause I Don't Want You To Love MeIf You Don't Wanna Love Me For Me.


Love, Hope

How I wish I know the truth behind the lies.

Love, Hope.

Sampaikan salamku, tinggi ke syurga.

Sesungguhnya selama ini aku sayang dia, Ya Allah. Aku percaya dan aku bergantung hariku kepada dia. Aku pernah mengkhianati kepercayaannya tapi semuanya hanya salah faham. Aku pernah tetapi itu hanya masa aku belum kenal erti lelaki. Aku belum sedar tentang indahnya iman. Kematangan pula, sudah tentu tipis sekali.

Tapi, aku cuba untuk berubah, waktu demi waktu. Aku cuba untuk jadi yang lebih baik. Untuk Mu serta balasan akan dia yang selalu membantu walaupun yang baiknya hanya sedikit untuk dibandingkan dengan wanita solehah. Aku mengaku aku masih lemah, Ya Allah. Aku telah hanyut mencintai ciptaanMu yang begitu indah. begitu sempurna dimata ku. Aku begitu hanyut di dunia ini.

Namun, aku cekal. Aku tinggal pergaulan tidak sihatku. Aku tepikan rakan-rakanku yang boleh melalaikan aku selama ini. Aku berdikari. Aku hidup sendiri, Ya Allah. Aku tidak berteman di muka bumi ini kecuali dia yang sentiasa aku pinjam dari Mu, Ya Allah. Atas dua sebab; berubah dan demi hati yang aku sayang. Hati yang selama ini aku kagum. Hati yang selama ini hanya padanya aku merintih kesedihanku.
lama-lama, Aku sedar, aku terlebih sayang. Dan sekarang aku sedar itu satu kesilapan.

Sekarang, semuanya hanya masa gelapku. 

Aku tahu, ini cara untuk aku berubah. 

Aku pernah berbisik, berbicara, merintih, merayu kepadaMu, Allah. 

Sesungguhnya jika bukan dia jodohku, 

akan Kau bantu aku untuk mengikis karismanya dari kedua-dua belah mataku. 

Akan Kau tarik semua keindahan yang pernah aku lihat dalam dirinya. 

Sehingga hari ini, ya Allah. 

Kau tunjukkan aku kebesaranMu. 

Kau buktikan aku masih wanita yang pernah Rasullullah mengangkat darjatnya. 

Aku dahagakan hidayah dan imanMu, Ya Allah.

Aku terharu, Ya Allah.. Aku menangis atas kesyukuran. Kau dengar akan doa-doaku. Aku bersyukur Kau masih memberi peluang kepada hambaMu yang kerdil ini.

Hari ini aku kalah. Aku kesal, Aku mengalah dan aku berserah. Hati kecilku masih tidak mampu berdiri sendiri untuk hanyutkan kenaganku serta silamku ke muara. Sesungguhnya aku sunyi. Sesungguhnya aku rindu akan jodohku. Aku rindu akan Nabi Muhammad S.A.W..

Love, Hope.

Morning always smell sweet like you.

I cant sleep, thinking whats my life would be after this.

I'm ready, but I'm scared. But somehow I know you want me to be strong.

Leaving everything behind is what I would do.

For the best of me and you.

Love, Hope.

Mata sahabat.

Aku mungkin pendiam. Tapi tu tak bermaksud aku susah untuk didekati. Itu bukan bermaksud aku tak ambil peduli. Bukannya aku sombong dan lalai, tak mahu ambil kisah. Tapi bila aku senyap, banyak yang difikirkan.
Kadang-kadang, dengan berdiam banyak jalan penyelesaian boleh dicari.

Aku mungkin jarang bergaul dengan kawan-kawan. Main sama-sama, sembang ramai-ramai bila lapang. Mungkin jarang dan lebih kemungkinan ramai yang jarang nampak aku macam tu. Tapi bukan maksud aku tak endah, bukan maksud aku nak menyembunyi. Tapi, dengan mengasingkan diri lah aku mencari ketenagan. Penat, tak ada siapa tahu. Kadang-kadang, hari yang agak tegang boleh diubati dengan berseorangan, 

sunyi tu kadang-kadang boleh dijadikan teman.

Aku kadang-kadang agak mengarah. Suruh itu-ini. Mengatur setiapnya. Tegur walaupun sedikit. Aku bukan pengarah. Dengan niat jujur. Ingin dibetulkan. Kadang-kadang, manusia lain nampak kesalahan kita. Tapi, demi jaga hati, mereka mendiam. Biarkan lagi terpesong. Biarkan lagi diabkan. Biarkan anda kelihatan salah, pelik, kelakar, kurang sempurna dan sebagainya. Aku hanya menegur. Dan kadang-kadang, mengarah itu perlu supaya kerja yang dihasilkan berjalan lancar. Setiap orang itu berbeza. Mungkin sikap ambil tahu itu, dimata orang adalah mengerah. Jadi, sabar. Sifat menerima itu penting. 

Aku mungkin jalan tak pedulikan orang lain. Tapi tu tak bermakna aku tak ikhlas berkawan. Tak bermakna sahabat-sahabat yang aku tak terlihat itu tidak penting. Tapi mungkin sifat semula jadi. Jalan tunduk atau lihat kedepan. dengan niat orang tidak panggil mata liar. dengan niat to be humble. Mengenali itu lebih penting.
Tabiat itu kadang-kadang adalah baik. 

Maaf, tak semua manusia itu sempurna. 

Maaf, kalau banyak perlakuan ini terhiris hati sahabat-sahabat. 

Maaf, hidup ini kadang-kadang terasing, kadang-kadang terlebih. 

Well, this is life. Human do what humans do. 

So, take it or leave it. 

God knows it all. 

Perempuan di luar sana, jadilah wanita-wanita yang tabah ye. (:

God bless,

Love, Hope.♥

Doodling our dream hot air balloon. :)

Okay, I'm home actually. Currently in Penang. It's a relieve, really. Just wondering if my friends were here too. because most of my girl friends are not studying in universities. Mostly went to college and still finishing up school life. either in form 5 or form 6.

well, what a boring life I had these few days. I don't wanna end up my holiday just by watching futsal everyday. no no. I rather work. -.-
My best friend is already busy working and I'm here end up waiting for you in front of my laptop. Hmm.

Alright, actually wanted to tell about my awkward story when I was driving back to Penang form UiTM, Sungai Petani. I wore this some kind of FAKE tiara. without any purpose. I had this tiara which I just kept on my dorm shelf, I accidentally wore it all the way back to Penang. I had this chaotic time when I'm packing up my stuff and I just realize that I'm wearing the tiara when I stop by the traffic light, looking at the man in the car beside mine, showing some sign that meant "hey, nice tiara."

With awkward feeling I looked into the mirror and..... -.-" oh...no. *shame*

But I guess it's cool, so I took a picture of myself wearing the tiara. haha, 

Vain. -.-

My BabyBear (with balloon), Tiger (small ones), and Smoochie (with tiara).

always in the corner of my laptop table. Cute aren't they? hee.

Actually, I don't really wanna post about this. 

I wanted to share about what I feel, 

somehow, I think blog is not appropriate. 

It's just about a feeling that you can't describe 

because all you feel is..... empty.

Thoughtless, perhaps.

Love, Hope.

I'll sing again and I pretend that you might like me.

Here's the lyrics. :)

Missing from being in love.

Love, Hope. <3

Well, if its really you.

I've been a sober lately. sick, maybe. tired, dizzy, I'm not happy. Upset, perhaps. When I look back into my folders in my laptop. Picture folders to be exact. It reminds me of having few cool friends. Friends which you hang around together in school, have some random chats and have some fool time around. Its fun, really. How I realize, now, is different. Very different. i didn't mean that I miss school. its just that, how we all change after we graduated. some of them is still the same- they still visit the school for events, make friends with the juniors. well, i think im too busy with that. erm, maybe i don't really know how to make friends or socialize with people who don't really connected with my current living. I'm studying way far from my hometown where i grown up. That is why i left here with just few of friends which most of them I cant really remember their names. faces? no problem. haha.

Think back how I lived my days when im still in high school, I think it is more fun than now. now a days, i don't really wanna hang around in the shopping mall or spent my free time in cinemas. all I want is a peace environment. I've been dealing with all those hectic seconds. now I need truck loads of vacation where pillow and blanket is worth-full enough. 

Someone, please buy me a new life. :/

Thinking of my future husband. 

Could be, you're not that far.

Love, Hope.

Listen. Carefully..

I ♥ YOU

Love, Hope. :)

I tell god, I missed you.

Since one sustenance I've put aside, I'm lost.

Since the whole life I skipped, I drowned.

Although I've waited for my whole life just to know the whole story,

Still, it's untold. 

But I never ask. I can't.

♥

I don't think I can stay here any longer,

I hope I still have the chance to.

I wish the blurry vision I had would be clear,

For the longer time to be with you. 

Currently listening to A lonely September

 by Plain White T'.

Tell god, you miss me too.

Love, Hope.

Tag is broken.

The promises never break,To cherish our Love never dull,To share those times together never leave,Holding hands never let it go, face troubles never turn back,Wipe those tears never ignore.Mean everything never lie.

p.s: i Love you.

Love, Hope.

My brain speaks, my fingers do the typing.

Ehem2, I had sore throat today. terrible ones.
Lets start with...
There is a group of friends, who used to be fine.
They're good with each other.
best friend, perhaps.
sometimes they went out for some fun together.
*clear throat*
Sweet, fun, care. 

Friend are like cuts. U know, cuts? luka? if you care too much, it hurts. if you ignore, it leaves scars. sometime we have to care about others but sometimes people need to understand us. it happen, it will happen even if you said its not you. i bet you will or already face this situation. where you wanted to decide something which is satisfied by you but at the same it will hurt people around you, especially your good friends.

Look at this Pegasus reminds me of freedom.

i don't wanna say much about this. lesson from my experience is, let it go people. do not take things too serious. face it. if your friend decide something, whether you like it or not, let them be. its their life and not yours. alright? what you have to do is advice. and whether they ignore or not, let them be. well, we are human (typical words from me). we live like human. sometimes we satisfied, sometimes we don't.

And one more thing, we human, we travel. 

lets consider life as a journey. we travel don't we? 

so, we will always face new things, face new people, new crowd, new rules, new way. 

whatever new it is, 

it depends on you 

and don't let people around you 

underestimate you ability.

To my good friends here in Merbok who read this post, i wanna tell you guys, i miss us to get along like we used to be. although u know, last time i did not involve myself with you guys a lot. but i appreciated every moment we had. I feel awkward when things turned out this way.

One more, remember, 

don't talk bad about others or others will find yours too. 

I need to remember that too. 

i admit that i need to remember that too seriously. 

Lets forgive each other.... 

shall we?

Love, Hope. <3